Saturday, April 2, 2011

In Love ... With An Idea?

Is it a bad thing to be in love with the idea of love? Personally I think not.

I love the old romance stories that you hear. The idea of courting appeals far more than 'getting off' with some dude in a night club. What sort of a start to a relationship is that?

Maybe this love comes from a love of the classics? The old style of courtship, the romance. Or maybe it's just the fact that if a person has similar interests to me, there is a high likelihood that they aren't much of an arse?

I just love the whole secret messages and late night calls. The idea that someone might leave a little note in your favourite jacket pocket, because they know you well enough that just after you pick it up you get a text saying that they wish they didn't have to miss the smile that just flashed across your face. The idea that a date at the pictures is just that, a date at the pictures, nothing more, no raunchy touch up in the back seats. The idea that someone might actually take enough care in knowing you and knowing what you like to know your favourite movie and quote a cute line. The idea that someone might call you a name of your favourite character in a book, just because they can, and because it's a way of saying "I love you" in public without causing me to blush and become uncomfortable. The idea that someone might just be romantic........ or is that too much to ask now-a-days ?

It's not actually that difficult. You just need to put a bit of thought into it. Actually know the person that you claim to love. Know their favourite book, and then read it, even if you hate it. Because there is part of the person you love in that book. He/She loves it for a reason, that reason being that they identify with some part of it. And that part is a part that you love. So really there is part of the book that you love too. There is just one example, there are many others but I think you get my point. There are so many ways to show that you care. And so many ways to be romantic. Really romantic, meaning not just a quick romp in the movies.


Okay so I'm back, and I'm making the mistake of apologising and saying that I'll blog more often. I say that is a mistake because we all know that once we say that we Fail Epically at managing to actually do it!

Well since I'm here I'd better get on with it......Change.

It's happening continually isn't it? all the time, as sure as the world spins, we change, and so do our dreams and ambitions. Maybe it's the seasons. Spring is well and truly here and I'm getting that familiar, gut wrenching feeling that what I'm doing is wrong. I get this feeling every couple of months. I start on a project and then I think, "hmmm, is this really what I want to do?"

People say to me all the time, "what do you want to do?" or "What do you want to be?" and I think I have come to the conclusion that the 100% honest answer to these questions is "Everything". I want to travel the world, I want to see different places, experience different cultures. I want to sleep under the stars and try my hand at just about anything. I don't want to be stuck in a 9-5 job. I think it is that last bit that unsettles my mother so much. I think that is the reason we don't get on too well. She wants to see me as a success when I'm working 9-5 and 'stable' where-as I want to see myself as a success when I'm doing all of the for-mentioned things.

I thrive on variety, I live on it, I need it. I need it to keep going. Otherwise I get bored, and believe me that happens unbelievably quickly. That's why I can never really settle on one career path. Because at the end of the day, those plans and patterns all lead back to the 9-5. And that to me spells boredom. However that's only my opinion. For some that is exactly what they want and need.

For me, I like to peruse my passions and interests. I love Psychology, there is just so much information out there and people and the way they tick is just fascinating. At the same time I love art, in all it's various forms: Music, Photography, Literature, Jewellery, Paintings, even just the way that society runs is an art work within itself. I think this is the reason that I get bored. Or maybe I just haven't found the right 9-5?

Change is happening all the time. It is the job of the individual to be able to adapt to these changes. To keep our interests alive and keep the light in life by following dreams....Even if its camping in the garden.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

What is it? Really?

What is it about the fact that I am colour blind that interests people so much? And why is it that the moment that they realise/find out they pick something up and ask me what colour it is?

I have wondered this for many years now. It's a concept that is highly miss understood by many many people! you say colour blind and they are like, "well how do you know what to wear then?" or "do you see in black and white then?" No is the answer to the latter, and to the former the answer depends on what you want to wear with what, so sometimes with difficulty. The one I get most often is "that can only affect men!" Well I'm living proof that those who think that are wrong! 

Anomalous Trichromacy is a type of colour blindness that is usually inherited and affects men and women equally. This is the type of colour blindness I have. It is otherwise known as blue yellow colourblindness. This means that the cone in the eye that picks up on these two colours is different/ focuses on a different area of the spectrum therefore altering the colour vision.

This obviously leads to problems in life, but here is where the misunderstanding lies. A person unless monochromaticaly colourblind, is not completely deficient of the ability to perceive colour. We just cannot perceive certain colours as well as those with normal colour vision. The severity varies from person to person, but my point is that we CAN still see colour!

Recent evidence has suggested that 'colourblind' people actually have and advantage over those with normal colour vision to a certain extent! We 'blinds' can sometime distinguish better between camouflage colours thus meaning that we are able to spot things in the wild more easily. My question to that is, does that come from the hunter gatherer days??? hmmm....

Any way where as my colour vision might be altered, it also shows in my eyes themselves. (Although I must stress this is not the reason for the colour vision problems)In fact my eyes being gawped at was one of the things that triggered the idea to write about this. It was a few weeks back when passing a stranger in a croweded  corridor. I ended up getting quite flustered! As he squeezed passed, he turned to look at my face, and since this has happened before I closed my eyes. (to avoid these situations at all costs). Any way he picked up on it, stopped walking and started quizzing me about the "black spots" all around my iris, just like my pupil has bled, and the dots all around like little pin pricks. (the pupil hasn't bled, it's just that the irides are slightly different shades (not that I can really tell that well) He asked "what is that in your eye, do you wear contacts?" to which I replied in the negative went to carry on walking when he called out to me to wait. As he came over I saw some one I knew so made my excuses and a quick exit. But no I was once again hollered at and asked about my eyes and told I shouldn't hide them! (which I generally do) but he carried on and said "because you are quite mesmerizing!"

I mean really, this is what I get all the time when I meet new people, and sometimes I wear contacts to cover it up, but come on. It's not that interesting!

So really I am trying to find out why my eyes and colour vision are so interesting to people ? what is it about people's eyes that hold so much importance to us?

This I will leave for you to ponder, but I also hope you have read and understood a bit more about the art of colour vision.... Sensible questions welcome.

What's in my bag?

This has been a feature that I have seen on previous blogs and was one that I used on my old blog too....

It is basically a list of the contents of what you carry around with you! So this is mine for winter, which unfortunatly here in Edinburgh we are unfortunatly STILL experiencing. So here goes.

Although you may think, as I did when I first saw one of these type of posts, that you are not interested you are, stop kidding yourself. The first ever post like this i read beacuse I was extreemly bored! That might be why you are reading this?? But i found once I got into it, that I was taken over by this creepy feeling to "perv" on what strange thing's people carry around with them. Sometimes it's a laugh to think you are walking down the street and people are walking past you with all mannor of strange things in their bags!

I usually carry around a medium to large sized bag since i'm at college, it's kind of a necessity.
- A minimum of two working pens.
- At least one note book/jotter
- A diary (my treasured fileofax)
- Purse
- Keys
- Phone
- Mp3 player/iPod and it's charger
- Whatever makeup I am wearing that day (inc nail varnish) no one looks favouriably upon the chipped.
- Depending on lessons, various other pens and highlighters
- Vasaline/lipsalve (definatly needed in Edinburgh)
- Hairbands and depending on the weather a hat too.
- Anti-bacterial hand gel, and moisturiser so that my hands don't dry out when using the previous.
- Hairbrush
- The equivelant of a small drug store. (Paracetamol, Anti-hisamine for those hayfever sufferers, Cold and flu thingies because you never can be too sure)
- Memory stick, for when a laptop or computer crashes, it's a life saver.
- Eye lash curler (just looking through my bag at this present time)
- I cannot believe that I have gotten this far and forgotten to mention a good book! An essential for anone whose MP3 runs out on the bus!
- Passport, not in everyone's bag, but in mine as a second form of ID. And just incase be, I need to escape the country, always conveniant.
- A mini flash light (on my key ring)
- A pocket mirror
- Tissues!
- An umbrella.
- The perfume I am wearing.
- Chewing gum or polos
- bottle of water.

Okay that was me emptying the contents of my bag. Along the way I found seveal other items, old recipts and used bus tickets, that's just life though.

I have to say that I have recently downsized my bag and all of these things do sitll fit in it which I am happy about. But I mus confess that for the last two days I have been walking around feeling very insecure as I didn't have half the stuff I needed. That is because I gradually build back up what I have in my bag when I change and don't transfer the lot all at once. This has to change though, as today I have forgotten my book and water bottle :( *slaps hand*

But seriously, these items are not just "crap" they are valued and needed! I hate hearing people sniffing and snotting everywhere, always best to offer them a tissue. Did u grab a sticky bun at lunch and never got time to use the loo before the next lecture so now you have sticky hands that are impinging on your ability to write/type? Being able to wash and then moisturise them is a god send! Mobile Phone, Keys and Purse I think are just about the staple in any bag, but an MP3 or a good book are saviours on long bus rides, alongside a hat/hairband for windy days and a lipsalve for those icy mornings!

This is a list that can be added and taken from and the contents of a person's bag normally tells you quite a bit about them! Have a go! It may even lead to you clearing out some real "crap".

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


I Have been up since stupid o'clock this morning and when I first woke up I, quite frankly, could not be bothered. However i dragged myself to the bus stop and waited almost 40 minuets in a freezing bus shelter. during this time I watched my hands slowly change colour and so began to wonder how long it would take for frost bite to set in and how much longer I would have to wait before they dropped off completely!! But then I saw it, the bus came lumbering around the corner and relief flooded through me, my hands were safe, but not for long! I then came to realise that my admittedly failed attempt at keeping phalanges warm had resulted in what I like to call Glass Hand Syndrome - the belief that your hands are so cold, they are frozen into fists and will shatter like a brick through a glass window when you loosen your fist. So after a good half an hour thawing my hands out on the bus ('heater' if you can call it that!) I arrived at college and promptly tripped off the bus, and being only half awake I was extremely luck to have not fallen on my face because it took my brain almost a whole minute to realise that the floor was fast approaching.

I know worse can and has happened but at this point I'm convinced that it is going to be an awful day, start as you mean to go on and all that.... It's now 8:45, I'm heading into the main entrance while deciding that the stairs to the first floor are a hellish idea right now because lets face it, I have already suffered Glass Hand Syndrome and a near fatal fall today, it would be tempting fate to then subject myself to a broken neck courtesy of the stairs. This in mind I take the lift. What can go wrong? Ha! a lot can go wrong, namely getting stuck. So you guessed it.... fortunately the lift got it's arse in gear and within 5 minuets we were on our way again. stepping out of the lift I'm thinking 'Ah, Hell! Today is not looking good and it's only 9 o'clock'. 

As I walk into the room and plonk myself into my seat, I'm told by a friend that all we are doing today is getting feedback on our NAB's (exam) at this I allow myself a groan! How can this be a good omen? On a day that has gotten progressively worse from the moment I opened my eyes this can only spell one word F.A.I.L... 

We are all sat around chatting while the lecturer calls us forward individually to "talk about our results" and then my name is called... Heart thumping, praying for a pass so that I don't have to re-sit and thus revise the dreaded Stratification Theories module I make my way over to face the music. Which at this precise time is like that of the suspense music from jaws. As I sit down I get the "how do you think you've done?" and for the first time this morning I am required to actually think! So much like my computer (which is more like a dinosaur) I leave my brain to warm up and just say "mmm... When I was writing my answer I thought it went okay" Which really means that now thinking back I have no idea what I wrote/you know how well I've done, I'm not about to shoot myself in the foot and say I think I did great when you are about to tell me that I've failed!

I passed! And to my surprise he was pretty "impressed with the content" his words not mine. This it appears has been the turning point in my day, from then on... well it hasn't really gotten any better, the mountain of work that appears to be the size of Aurthur's Seat hasn't magically disappeared but it also hasn't gotten any bigger, and the day hasn't gotten any worse. :) 

I am now faced with the dilemma of what to do with the rest of my day, since my last lecture has been cancelled. Common sense tells me that I should probably try and climb that mountain of work but then again I could easily find things to blog about all day! 

What is Success?

How do we know if we have failed or succeeded? Well many people would make a plan and follow it, completion of this plan results in success and lack of completion would suggest failure. But what about deviation from the plan? For example, one of my ambitions in life is to get into university, however I am currently looking at applying for a completely different course to the one I originally intended to apply for. Does this mean that I am not successful? 

My gut instinct (the one I have learned I should always follow) shouts "NO!" but in the eyes of other people the answer is a resounding "YES!" to this my reply is that we are all individuals and so no one person's success is the same as someone else's. A person's success should be measured on a personal basis.  In my opinion success is being happy and content with what you have, but also having goals that you achieve along the way. Once I have achieved all, or most, of the things I wish to, I would class myself as a success. That does not mean to say that at the moment I think I am a failure. 

However in the eyes of other people, namely my parents, this is seen as failure. I have not "found my way to greatness yet" and in there opinion never will. Maybe that is a bold statement, after all that is only my interpretation of their opinion, but getting back to the point success is personal, and just because one person thinks your a failure does not mean you are! 

This comes after a conversation with a friend in the last few weeks. It got me thinking about what it means to be a success. In terms of the general view of success, people I have spoken to seem to believe that success is, earning buckets and buckets of money, having a respectable job, high academic status and achieving/acquiring a family that may or may not be perfect, but nonetheless that you have built up yourself. My response to this is really another question, Is all that actually quite shallow, shouldn't success be something more than material possessions/perceived high status?

What it is that makes someone successful? Would you class yourself a success? Whatever the answer there is always another question... why?
In the 21st century success is measured in a number of ways. What ever it may be to you, success is undeniably a big deal. But why? what is it in human nature that means we feel the need to out do each other and compete? I get that it may originate from primal instincts, survival of the fittest and all that jazz, but in today's society is there really any need for it? Why is success so important?

It is at this point I almost contradict myself, because as I believe that healthy competition is vital for society, the economy and any other related parts, I also believe that people think too much of it, and are constantly measuring themselves and being measures against others. And it is the latter that I disagree with. I find this idea of comparison quite unhealthy. As much as it might be needed for competition to exist in the first place, placing too much emphasis on it takes success from being personal to being commercialised. The idea is then introduced that if you do not have the latest gadget or the latest clothes or the latest trendy look then you are unsuccessful. It is then that I feel people need to step back and ask that question....... WHY? 
For the moment I shall digress. There are both positive and negatives to being 'successful' after all it can open doors and provide life altering opportunity but it can also be the bane of a person's life, it can be the cause of faliure, and it can be the very reason for the break up of that 'successful' family you were working so hard to build.
For me success is personal. It's all about proving to yourself that you are able to over come the obsitales that stand in your way, and acheive what you want to. And if that means that for the time being you are an ugly duckling, just have patience and you will be rewarded with the sweet sent of you flower.
So what is success for you? And why do you want it so badly?



This is another poem inspired by my big brother, this was written more recently. I haven't had the chance to speak it out to people yet, and don't think I will do in the near future (I'm shy about my work, on here I can hide behind the computer) but I know that it is here and that gives me some confidence. 

Looking to an empty void
I cannot see your face
Waiting until I can join
Holding nothing but an ace
Running through the sands of time
For something I can chase
There is nothing I would choose to hold
Nothing but your face.

There is nothing I can say to you
But how it used to be
To joke and laugh and mess with you
You, just you and me.
There’s nowhere I can see you now
You’re nowhere I can see
Everything is locked up now
And it’s you that holds the key.

Return one day with time to tell
What the future has in store
Soothe us with you tales of how
There’s a world beyond and more
Don’t worry us, go on, have fun
Of you we cannot bore.
As long as you have tales to tell
What the future has in store. 

Cheating !

Okay so the next couple of posts are really kind of a cheat. Im getting risd of the other two pages and sticking with the one just now because Im getting really wound up by them. This is therefore a cheat as the next few posts are ones that I have already posted on those pages. Im moving them onto the mainstream page... hope you enjoy them.

Monday, February 28, 2011


Day by day I think of you,
How can all of this be true?
I can't believe you're really gone,
Even now, after so long.

Just the thought of you makes me cry,
I never got to say goodbye.
I kept your picture, and every letter,
I don't know if it will ever get better.
I always smell your familiar scent,
It makes me think of all of the times we've spent.
So many things I never got to say,
I never imagined you'd be so far away.
You’ll be my guide and help me see,
I still need you, just to be.
I'll never forget your soothing voice,
I would take your place if I had a choice.
I miss your smile
I miss you smell
I miss your hugs and playful kisses
I wish I could go back and tell you how I felt.

But now I have to let you rest,
Although without you my world's a mess.
At night I miss your thumping music
I miss you, with all my heart,
I wish we never had to part.
I know you're always here by my side,
So now I guess this is my goodbye...



Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Decide already!

GAH! I'm being driven to distraction by the weather! One minute it's snowing the next it is practically a summers morning, much like this morning's 7 degrees!

Well... Last week it was in the minuses again! and then this morning its up to 7! I mean come on, all I'm asking for is a bit of consistency! one day I have to be all wrapped up and the next, well... not so wrapped up. One day we're digging ourselves out of the driveway and the next we're wearing our sunnies in the car!

Today started off well. dry and relatively warm - 7 degrees (which equates to a summer's morning in Edinburgh)
then it decided to rain - not unheard of it is Scotland after all, but then the wind picks up, and I don't have my scarf :/ this doesn't make me a happy person!

However the other day I was wearing a skirt - admittedly with tights- and a short sleeve tee and a short sleeved cardie! and it was fine! like not cold at all! What is up with that.

This is turning into a moan about the crap weather, if I thought about it I could have turned it into a moan about global warming/climate change, but for now I'll stick with less taxing stuff... after all I'm beginning to once again feel my self slipping into a zombie state from lack of sleep!

Any one else found the same thing, or is it just me?

What are your professional goals for the next year?

This came to me the other day, does college and courses count as professional? My guess is that they don't maybe they just count as being Pre-professional?

Anyway back to the question. I was asked yesterday what my professional plans were for next year so I told the young man that I was planning to take a Social Sciences HNC which he frowned upon! I mean REALLY? he said "social sciences are not a real science, they are just people pretending to be intelligent" well now I could not pass up the opportunity to conflict his opinion. Those taking social sciences are doing just the same as those doing real sciences like Biology.Chemistry.Physics. We are finding the cause and effect. The same as them.

Next he said, "so after you have done a pointless course I assume you are going to do a pointless degree?" This was said with a look of cheek, but nonetheless it wound me up!

I told him that if he was going to be so scathing then I wasn't going to take his question seriously! So he apologised and I told him that I was planning to do Psychology at uni and then do my training in Psychotherapy. "HA!" he burst out. "Psychobabble!?"

I turned an walked away.... Shouting "see you in a therapy session" I mean COME ON! why is there such prejudice towards the social sciences. After all psychologists are helpers. Sociologists help us understand our society and Philosophers... well they give us deep meaningful and thought provoking debates.

Belt up people, social sciences is not an easy option!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

AV Referendum

This is a debate/topic that has recently been thrown up in the news prior to the coming referendum. So should we stay or should we go?

The current first past the post system means that each candidate votes and the party with the majority of the votes in the constituency wins the seat in Parliament. To win a general election the minimum number of seats needed is 326, this creates a majority and the winning party then form a government. This in comparison to the AV is relatively simple.

Alternative Vote is carried out in a similar way to that of first past the post. Each constituency votes for the candidate they want to represent them, however the votes are counted differently. Instead of a solitary X next to the candidates name, voters are required to list their preferences, putting a 1 next to the candidate they want to represent them, a 2 next to their second preference and so on.
If one party receive a majority of first preference votes, meaning that they are have more first preference votes than the all the others combined then they win the election and form the government. On the other hand, if a majority is not achieved then the second preferences of the party that got the least first preferences are counted. For example if party D got the least amount of first preference votes, then those who voted for them have their second preference counted. This continues until there is a majority.
There are good points and bad points for both systems and at the end of the day the country will decide on the 5th of may how they want the voting system to be. I would lean to wards the Alternative vote system, for the fact that it lessens tactical voting, and eliminates pressure of your vote being wasted. However it is a system that is complex. I feel that the simplicity of the First Past The Post system is good but it creates nasty political campaigns as politicians try to win over a constituency that doesn't particularly vote one way or the other.

What do you think and how do you think the country will vote?

Home sweet Home

What is it about coming home from a long day at work/school/college/whatever you have been up to that is so good? I just love to come home get my jammies on and start to mong, even if I do still have to work!

I love to come in and get into my jammas, have a nice cuppa tea and sort dinner out before hitting the books again, it just makes it so much more relaxing. The perfect night in for me would be to come in get changed order a take out and then flick the news on while I wait. Cuddle up to the dogs and maybe even have a laugh at the expence of small children falling off their bikes on YBF! (im cruel!) So the delivery arrives and I throw on my dressing gown before taming the dogs, more for the sake of my dinner than the delivery man and tuck in to whatever it is that I have ordered. Once I have devoured this I would maybe make another cuppa or maybe something stronger and try find a film or something to watch. Settling in to watch whatever it is I have found, I'd once again snuggle into the dog and more often than not fall asleep, only to wake up and find the dog has finished off my tea or i have fallen asleep wit it in my hand and so it's no longer in the cup, it's all over me, the floor or both.

After cleaning up whatever mess I may or may not have made, I then trundel off to my bed, cursing my self for sleeping before hand and eventually drift off into a sleep where I dream about absolutly nothing :)

What is your ideal home comming? This is just one of mine, there are many others but right now this is the one I want to happen.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Do you miss out because your afraid to loose it all?

It’s not what you’re looking at that matters, it’s what you see...

A question posed in a recent sociology lecture was how many opportunities do we miss because we are too afraid to take a risk? The answer for me was quite simple, too many! Opportunities are right in front of us all the time it’s just a matter of finding them, seeing them and seizing them.
For me, the biggest opportunity of my life so far was moving back to Edinburgh. Being Scottish and always having felt the outsider, I relished the thought of moving back, especially after the turbulent few years that have just passed.
My mother made the decision to move the family (herself, my brother and I) down south, to a place just outside Cambridge, UK just after my father died. Being so young when this took place I would have to say that I have been brought up around Cambridge and it’s really all I’ve known. Of course I knew Edinburgh, I still had the Scottish accent when we first moved ect... but really I only knew of it what little I could remember from early childhood, what little (very little) I’d been told and occasional visits. However I am still Scottish, and am thoroughly proud of it.
The opportunity came after two particularly bad years. Even I, ever the optimist, cannot put a good spin on everything that happened, other than that of hindsight and learned lessons. After moving out at 16 to live with a family friend 30 odd miles away, (who thought it a temporary issue) and getting a job in the local supermarket the move became ever more permanent and therefore created more rifts and misunderstandings, after another turbulent few months, having no other place to turn, came the opportunity that saved the day, week, month
This opportunity came in the form of my aunty. My dad’s sister. And if I’m honest it was there all along, I just never saw it. This opportunity bought with it many others, the most appealing being the opportunity to wipe the slate clean and re-invent myself.
HOWEVER – Enough of the life story already!
It is this opportunity that I find most rewarding and frustrating! With the advantage of a new perspective and whole new lease of life, I see people all around me stuck in a rut, desperately trying to get out and go places but are held back by fear. I know it is easy to dream of even write of but having done it I can say it is 100% worth it.
I do realise that it is only worth it if it succeeds, and that others have more to lose than I did but really the long and short of it is that you’ll never know until you try.
Do you lie awake at night thinking what if? What if I took off tomorrow and never came back? What if I walked into the office tomorrow handed in my notice and told my boss what I think of him and his team building exercises? Do you lie awake thinking I made the wrong decision? Do you long for independence from parents, the confines of a 9-5 routine or a broken relationship? Wishing things were different. Or do you simply want to break out and do something new? Write a book, build your very own Grand Design, learn a new language, book a random holiday, climb the nearest mountain, I could go on...
Does it ever cross your mind to think of what is stopping you? Not just passing thoughts while day dreaming such as what would the kids say? Or how would I fund it? But really think of what has stopped you from realising dreams ambitions or opportunities? What is it that is really stopping you from coming up with solutions to funding issues or childcare? Is it the same thing that stopped me from grabbing the bull by the horns and telling my mother exactly how I felt?
Is it fear?
After the last few eye opening years, I have come to believe that you should feel the fear and do it anyway! Ironically enough that very belief is in fact the title of a book that caught my eye when I tucked myself into a corner of the library to study a few weeks ago!

First Real Post

Okay so here goes, my attempt at a successful blog! It's 11:59 PM here in Edinburgh and I am still not tired. As I mentioned in the previous and technically speaking 'first post' I'm an insomniac, however right now I'm doing pretty well (5.5 hours sleep last night/this morning). Since I've been up since about 10ish this morning I'm not expecting to sleep for a while (maybe even days) yet. All things like this however I attempt to turn into a positive and tonight that positive is that I can crack on with this and possibly even get my English analysis work done!

Last week's insomnia saw me blitzing my room. So right now I'm sat half way between the kitchen and sitting room tapping away on the key pad... I won't bore any of you with the ins and outs of the house/what I see but its pretty big and kinda house like. This resemblance to a house is the first of it's kind in months, 7 to be exact. Over the last 7 months or so there's been a lot going on in this ranch and it's not been easy! A 30sft extension has been built new kitchen half installed then taken out and then half re-installed only then to be given over to the hands of the lawyers, underfloor heating throughout the whole house, meaning at least two months with no floors, my room has been both habitable and inhabitable several times and is currently habitable but without furniture (other than my new and therefore very exciting wardrobe!). I have slept in almost every room in the house including the garden! and will be overjoyed when it's all over. But hey there is light at the end of the tunnel now at least. 

It's fair to say then it's been anything but pretty, arguments, successes, fails of epic proportions and both tears and laughter along the way, which there has been more of it's hard to say but hey, as long as we're getting to the end of having to constantly hunt for things. It was today, for the first time in 7 months, that I was able to walk into my (empty, other than the wardrobe) room, and retrieve something from the exact spot it should have been in! This was just too good for words. "ahem, SAD!!!" I hear you say, well that's as maybe, but for someone who relishes and has been deprived of order, clarity, cleanliness and all other relative things for 7 months these small changes mean the world! The study is now set up and painted as such, as will my boodwoir be in the next few days and after that, everything should start falling back into place! I can't wait! Don't get me wrong there is still a long way to go, but like I have said, the cup is filling up and soon it won't just be half full, it will be over flowing!!!

Any of you had similar experiences? or do you just identify with the order, clarity and cleanliness? maybe you don't identify with any of it, who knows... Any thoughts?

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Who Am I?

Who Am I? 

That is the question that thousands upon thousands of people ask themselves everyday. Be it wanting to "find themselves", being asked your name even making a moral decision you'll ask yourself this question at some point! 

Me? Well I'm an 18 Year old, blue-yellow colour-blind, opinionated, insomniac with Carpal Tunnel syndrome OCD  and almost flat feet! WOW doesn't that sound great. When I put it like that it's quite sad really. However life is not at all shabby! 
I have tried my hand at 'blogging' in the past however I either thought I sounded too immature (like a whining child) or I completely lost interest as it didn't seem to be catching on. However as things are it's something to do with my time when sleep evades me, and as I have tried more than once, some of those OCD tendencies are clinging and really I've just got to crack it! More than anything, I like the idea of being part of the blogging world, sharing ideas with people and having debates that would otherwise not happen in my daily life. 

As my current status is that of a student, I think this blog will vary in content. However I will be blogging about my hobbies, interests, aspirations and the general 9-5. 

I only have one question at this precise moment... Who are you?